When I say “please don’t take a picture of me” it’s not because I’m being bitchy and stubborn, it’s because if I see that picture I will seriously feel so bad about myself and think I am the ugliest thing on earth and sink a little deeper into self consciousness and hatred.
and before anyone says anything about selfies- those are controlled photos.
Cards Against Humanity is where you learn which of your friends are basic and which ones are sociopaths there is no in between
the kid who volunteers to read and can’t pronounce 90% of the words.
all i want in life is to lose weight and gain money
yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money
i feel like every week i’m just like “i need to get through this week”
me: hey i’m kinda good at this writing thing
*reads other people’s writing*
me: i am a literary potato
filling a bathtub with the substance, throwing the person you hate the most in the tub and throwing the ice cube in the tub right after …. it would be over
Nah, don’t just throw it in you gotta flick it dramatically over your shoulder without looking as you walk away, preferably with a darkly humorous one-liner.
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
what the fuck is that stuff